And. once again I am I will not say alone, no, that's not like me, but, how shall I say, I don't know, restored to myself, no, I never left myself, free, yes, I don't know what that means but It's the word I mean to use, free to do what, to do nothing, to know, but what, the laws of the mind perhaps, of my mind, that for example water rises in proportion as it drowns you and that you would do better, at least, no worse, to obliterate texts than to blacken margins, to fill in the holes of words till all is blank and flat and the whole ghastly business looks like what it is, senseless, speechless, issueless misery.
I read that and felt like a small dog, a Pomeranian maybe, worrying a rope being shaken by my master to get me off it. I, of course, looking for that fall, relented willingly to the drop from the narrative and into the mechanical workings below it. This happens quite often and I love it!
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